heh...a new blog? *sMILe* decided that with the things i may want to post here...would be more of a stumbling block to my youths than i'd like...sometimes, things are best left unsaid and untold till a better time.

sighness. I guess the one motivating factor in writing this would be a recent(past few hours at least) feeling under the weather..the female three lettered curse? Heh, mayhaps ne..sudden onset symptoms of melancholy and the urge to cry (hee although some peeps would beg to differ.."my dear! but you always cry so easily!") bahness. Always felt pms to be beyond me.. but even more so, i should have no reason to feel this way. Not when You have blessed me beyond what i deserve. Nothing.

Frustration would then be my next excuse. At the way some things appear to be, or not to be. *sMILe* methinks my dear jie may know me better than i know meself then..recall the slight irritation and indignation when she calls me naive, or simple minded (heh stupid?). Indeed, i am..most probably, simple minded. Or to place it more accurately, have a want for the simple things in life. (: Little things make me happy..a friendly smile people give..feeling the breeze on my face, stepping on nice crinkly dry leaves, hopping around, hugging my pillow, looking up at the nice sky, to see the sunset, to walk, to have my frens happy..and the bliss it derives motivates me to make gifts for peeps, even though "you never know, they may chuck it in the bin!"i wouldn't care for that ne..cause at least i may express my care freely hoho(:

Yet there are times when life doesn't pamper me in the way i'd like it to be. And it's times like these when i feel i need Your embrace, a kinder surprise therapy,esplanade and singapore river therapy...piano and music therapy.. a good cry..confusion? Maybe a feeling of uselessness..that so many frens around me feel so down, and even though it worries the happiness out of me..and saps on the very last dregs of my physical energy, cause there are so many things i'd like to do to cheer them up, within every single bit of my ability. Only to realise that this little ability i'd like to muster up, is non existent. To tell my frens it'll be okie, to give them a hug, to cry with them, to pray with and over them, to want to step in and make everything a little brighter than they thought it was..but there are restrictions. Is it possible? To have them feel, as i know You feel, to shout out with every single iota of my being, that i love them soooo much? That it hurts so much when life bears darkness upon them, that it aches when there's so much i want to do for them and yet can accomplish nothing..

Don't think nat was completely right when she said i don't get affected. *sMIle* methinks i do ne..just that sometimes i run away...but between sharing that sorrow and not being told what on earth kills that happiness..i'd choose the former any day. Cause it IS a privilege...and i'd give anything to share that burden.

Let me cry with you my friends..because at the end of the day, the sorrow becomes muted in the symphony of friendship and the hope and promise of a better time to come:)

So yup! Allow me the honour, to be able to share of that precious life, to walk with you..to delight as you delight, to sorrow as you sorrow, and to hope as we dream together of a utopia that may have yet to come.*hugs*